


Finally I’m Through (Wasting All These Tears On You)

by chasethewind



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Memories, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:31:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasethewind/pseuds/chasethewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been nearly five years since she'd heard that voice, most of which she'd spent trying to forget it and move on... All the years of veiled insults and passive-aggressive remarks finally came crashing down as Felicity sank to the white marble floor, the tears she'd been holding back for so long finally spilling down her cheeks in a torrent. She wrapped her arms around her knees and let her head fall to the soft satin fabric, her sobs escaping unbidden. They echoed off the walls, drowning out the sound of anything and everything around her. </p><p>How had this night turned into something so awful? Why did William Clarkson have to show up and ruin it all for her? Felicity's head dropped into her hands as her shoulders shook with more sobs. The bigger question was, why did she still feel things for him? For the last five years, she'd managed to erase him from her mind, but the moment she heard his voice, everything came rushing back. The floodgates were opened and nothing was going to close them back up again, at least not until she'd gotten everything off her chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finally I’m Through (Wasting All These Tears On You)

**Author's Note:**

> Aside from "When Love Isn't Enough", this has to be one of the most emotional and painful stories I've ever written because something like this really did happen to me a little over a year ago while I was in Austin for the AMS conference. I ran into this guy who I was once friends with that turned on me, and everything just came rushing back. I must have cried for an hour in the bathroom during the after party while my friend did her best to comfort me. So that's where this story came from.
> 
> It definitely took a lot of courage to get this off my chest and I nearly trashed it before I finally decided I'd already gotten through the worst of it.

It wasn't hard getting lost in the hustle and bustle of the convention center. Being the Executive Assistant to the man who had given the opening speech of the Tech Expo sponsored by Queen Consolidated afforded Felicity Smoak the ability to ignore most of the people that had come up to her in favor of making sure she and her charge were on schedule with the events that followed.

The reception had been a black tie affair, one she'd made sure to dress appropriately for in a stunning Monique Lhuillier one-shoulder gown with a mermaid hem that was pleated to flare sculpturally toward one side. It was a gorgeous shade of navy, one that brought out her eyes, and matched the tie she'd picked out for her boss that night. She told herself it was because she knew it would bring out his eyes as well, but seeing him wearing that color always made her stomach flip.

Speaking of her boss, Felicity spotted him across the hall near the door speaking to a group of people that had gathered around him. She watched him for several moments, noticing the way he forced his smiles even though no one seemed to realize he really didn't want to be there. That was the charm of Oliver Queen, CEO of Queen Consolidated. Only two people knew he was putting on a front for his investors, and they were both in that room watching him like a hawk.

The second person in question stayed behind in the shadows, Oliver's ever present shadow and brother in arms, John Diggle. Felicity spotted him leaning against the door holding back a smirk when Oliver let out a fake laugh trying his best to be the charming host he was, but tonight was wearing thin on him and these people were obviously not going to leave him alone anytime soon.

Felicity sighed, then made the decision to save him, coming up with a fake story about how he needed to take a call, but would soon come to regret it. As she neared the gathered crowd, a familiar voice made her stop in her tracks. The polished English accent was one she recognized anywhere, and it instantly sent daggers into her heart.

It had been nearly five years since she'd heard that voice, most of which she'd spent trying to forget it and move on. But there he was, his broad back and shoulders turned towards her as she quietly approached from behind. It made Felicity uncomfortable, something which Diggle picked up on almost immediately upon seeing the way she'd straightened up and how her face had fallen. He'd taken a step away from the door towards her, but she shook her head, indicating this was nothing to worry about.

Instead, she squared her shoulders and held her head high as she circled the crowd. When she caught Oliver's attention, a small smile graced her lips and suddenly she forgot about the man standing only a few feet away from them that had brought back a mix of pain and longing. Oliver returned the smile, his hand immediately reaching out to her and pulling her into the circle.

This was not what she had planned. It was the complete opposite of what she saw happening in her head. Sometime between the moment she'd spotted Oliver looking downright miserable in the crowd to the moment she'd found him in order to pull him away, his spirits had lifted and he was at ease in the crowd that surrounded him. She had a sinking suspicion as to why.

"Perfect timing," Oliver said as she slipped beside him. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet my Executive Assistant…"

"Felicity Smoak?" It was the man she'd been hoping to avoid, the one with the accent she hated and loved so much, the one that brought back all those mixed emotions from her days as an undergrad.

"William Clarkson!" she replied feigning surprise as she turned to him while plastering a fake smile to match. Beside her, Oliver tensed. She could feel it in the way the air suddenly crackled around him, as if he sensed the need to suddenly swoop in and drag her out of this awkward situation.

With a wavering smile, Oliver asked, "You two know each other?"

"William and I graduated from MIT together," Felicity explained in as neutral a tone as possible even though she knew he could see right through it by the way his hand fell to the small of her back and he leaned a little closer. "I'll tell you later," she whispered harshly through gritted teeth so only he could hear her.

Oliver nodded reluctantly, but kept his guard up, something she wished he wouldn't do. Felicity felt she could handle this situation herself, but the longer she stood there staring at the man who'd put her through the proverbial ringer, the harder it became.

"What a pleasant surprise!" William exclaimed. She could tell by the look on his face that he really was surprised to see her. Even if it had been five years since she last saw him, she still remembered all his tells. From the point where she'd finally broken off ties with him, she realized he was an easy person to read. And right now his body language suggested that he wasn't just surprised, but downright frightened as well.

"How have you been?" Felicity politely asked, even though she felt herself tense trying to say those words. She knew exactly how he'd been. After finishing MIT, she'd kept tabs on him, but it wasn't hard really. William was always mentioned in the tech blogs she followed, touted for being Wayne Industries' most prized computer genius. It made her stomach churn just thinking about that position, but thankfully she didn't have time to dwell on it.

"Very well, and yourself? I see you've become arm candy for the richest man in Starling City." It was a low blow, just like back in college when she'd been too naive and too inexperienced to realize that was his way of putting people down and stomping over them. Back then all she'd seen was his handsome English face, baby blue eyes, and that confident air that surrounded him and made him instantly magnetic to anyone in the room.

Unfortunately, it took her two years to see his true colors; two years of what ended up being hell on earth until she'd finally realized what he was doing. But by then it was too late, and all Felicity could do was work as hard as she could in order to graduate early and get as far away from him as she possibly could.

And now, here they were, standing in the same room together acting as if nothing had happened between them. Although, Felicity had to admit, she was the one who had distanced herself from him, and it was as if he barely even noticed.

"Felicity isn't arm candy," Oliver sternly replied, glaring over at the man who was causing her so much agitation at the moment.

"Of course she isn't," William easily replied. "She's far too smart for that. Aren't you, Felicity?"

"Graduating summa cum laude a semester early would make you think so," she shot back, narrowing her eyes at him even as her smiled remained firmly planted on her mited pink lips. Beside her Oliver tensed even more. She needed to get him to calm down before things went south with Bruce Wayne's golden boy and he made a scene. So, carefully, she extricated herself from his grasp.

"If you'll excuse me, I only came over here to remind you all that dinner will be served in half an hour and to let Oliver know where the notes for his speech were, on the table beside my handbag. I have a few things I need to take care of before then. Sorry for the interruption. Please don't let me keep you from your conversation," Felicity said as she easily slipped away from the crowd, even in the Jimmy Choo heels she'd worn that night.

Her first instinct was to run, to get as far away from that room as possible, but spotting Diggle's gaze firmly set on her, she walked past him whispering, "I have to go to the ladies' room." Her smile was as fake as they came, and she knew he saw right through the facade she was trying to keep in place before the world came tumbling down on top of her.

Thankfully the bathroom was only a few feet from the entrance to the ballroom. Felicity rushed inside, finding it blissfully empty. The swirl of emotions raging through her mind had her on the very edge of her sanity. There was only so much a girl could take before she tipped over it, and that moment came when she looked at herself in the mirror and realized she really did just look like a hot piece of ass in her dress.

All the years of veiled insults and passive-aggressive remarks finally came crashing down as Felicity sank to the white marble floor, the tears she'd been holding back for so long finally spilling down her cheeks in a torrent. She wrapped her arms around her knees and let her head fall to the soft satin fabric, her sobs escaping unbidden. They echoed off the walls, drowning out the sound of anything and everything around her.

Whoever came and went barely took notice of her. They simply looked past, or would glance in her direction for a moment before doing their business and leaving. Felicity lost track of how much time she'd spent on the floor crying, but it must have been quite a while because a soft hand fell to her shoulder. She looked up immediately, her eyes settling on the woman dressed in an attendant's uniform gazing down at her with care and concern.

"Are you alright, Miss?" she asked, her voice soft and soothing. "There's a man outside who asked me to come in here and check on the girl in the blue dress. I figured it was you."

"Yeah, that's me, and I'm fine," Felicity sniffled, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "I just… need a few more minutes."

"He also wanted me to tell you that dinner has already started and that you're needed in the ballroom," the woman added before turning to go.

"Shit," Felicity muttered before dragging herself up off the floor and glancing in the mirror. Black rivers of ink ran down her cheeks and she cursed herself for not wearing waterproof mascara. Then she cursed the man who'd put her in this position. With her purse back at the table, there was no way she could touch up her makeup.

Another wave of anger and confusion washed over her and more tears spilled down her cheeks. "God damn it!" Felicity roared as she slammed her hand down on the marble countertop. How had this night turned into something so awful? Things were going as planned. Oliver's opening speech had gone without a hitch, everything was in place as it should be, and all the investors were rather happy with this venture. It was bringing in new revenue, quickly putting the company well past sales projections for the quarter, and that would keep Isabel Rochev off their backs for at least a little while longer.

Why did William Clarkson have to show up and ruin it all for her? Felicity's head dropped into her hands as her shoulders shook with more sobs. The bigger question was, why did she still feel things for him? For the last five years, she'd managed to erase him from her mind, but the moment she heard his voice, everything came rushing back. The floodgates were opened and nothing was going to close them back up again, at least not until she'd gotten everything off her chest.

Sinking back to the floor, Felicity let her tears flow freely. She just wanted to go home and curl up in bed with her favorite Mythbusters t-shirt and baggy grey sweats that would fall off her waist if she didn't tie them properly then find something mindless to watch on TV while she drank a bottle of wine (or several). But she was stuck here, several thousand miles away in Chicago. The hotel she had booked was a few miles from the convention center. She was in the middle of contemplating whether or not to hail a cab when another hand landed on her shoulder.

This one was larger, rougher than that of the woman who'd come in earlier and Felicity immediately knew who it belonged to. She didn't want to look up fearing what she'd find staring back at her.

"Hey," Oliver whispered from somewhere mere inches away. His other hand came to rest against her neck, thumb stroking along her jaw until her head finally raised to look at him.

He was kneeling in front her sitting on his heels with his face less than a foot from where she sat curled up on the floor, her dress spilling out over the white marble. Felicity's heart clenched when she saw the pain and worry in his telling blue eyes. This had nothing to do with Oliver, yet somehow he was taking her sorrow and making it his own.

"Are you okay?" The tenderness in his voice struck her so hard several more tears slipped down her cheeks as her eyes fell to her lap. This was more than she could handle. His concern only made it worse. And when his hands came up to cradle her face, Felicity let out a gut wrenching sob. She wanted to pull away, but the warmth of his fingers wiping the tears from her cheeks kept her from moving.

Suddenly his arms were around her, pulling her into the warmth of his embrace as one hand circled her waist while the other came to rest at the nape of her neck. Her instincts kicked in and she was wrapping herself up in him as if he was her security blanket. Felicity buried her face in the soft material of his black jacket, her head tucked just beneath his chin.

They stayed like that for a long time, holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it. No one came in or out of the bathroom. It was just the two of them lost in a painful moment that only seemed to heighten the feelings that suddenly overcame her with such force she gasped for breath.

"It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," Oliver assured her as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Take all the time you need. When you're ready to talk, I'll be here."

Felicity closed her eyes, tightening her arms around him as wave after wave of tears flowed from her eyes. The emotions raged on in her mind and she felt powerless to stop them. This was the first time she'd ever allowed herself to break down in those five years. Everything she'd felt, everything she'd been through, it all came out in her desperate sobs as Oliver rocked her back and forth, his hands running up and down her back in soothing sweeps.

It was at least another ten minutes before her cries finally turned into whimpers and the occasional hiccup. Oliver's hand traveled up her back, finding its way to her chin and lifting it up so their eyes met. "Feeling better?" he murmured as his fingers stroked along her cheeks, wiping away the black streaks of her mascara.

"A little," Felicity meekly replied as she sniffled again.

Oliver reached up to the counter and grabbed a couple of tissues, handing her one while he used the other to wipe her face until it was free of black smudges and whatever was left of her makeup. Her eyes remained red and puffy, though, a stark reminder of the pain she'd been enduring for the last hour.

Felicity took a deep, shuddering breath before she looked over at him and realized there was now a large black stain on his white dress shirt. "Oh, no," she breathed. "I ruined your shirt."

The chuckle that escaped from his lips helped ease some of the tension. "It's just a shirt," Oliver replied.

"But how are you supposed to go back to dinner and give your speech looking like that?" she asked, focusing her concern on him instead of herself.

"News flash: Dinner's almost over. I gave my speech nearly half an hour ago before I came here to look for you and make sure you're alright. Clearly you're not, so the rest of dinner isn't that important."

"But…" Oliver's finger on her lips effectively silenced her.

"It's not important, Felicity. You are," he said earnestly, those soulful blue eyes conveying just how concerned he truly was for her at that moment. "You're my girl Wednesday, my friend, my partner, so when something happens to you, I want to make sure you're okay above anything else. So, tell me what happened between you and Clarkson. I need to know whether or not to shoot an arrow through him."

Oliver's smile let her know it was an empty threat. He had no intention of donning the green leather and hood; he just wanted to make her smile. It worked. The ghost of a grin appeared on Felicity's muted pink lips as she gazed up at him. But then she shifted and grimaced uncomfortably. Her butt had fallen asleep from sitting on the cold marble for so long.

Without hesitation, Oliver scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the lounge near the bathroom entrance. Felicity didn't protest. She was too emotionally exhausted from everything that had happened and accepted his help wordlessly. Besides, she'd always wondered what it would be like for her boss to carry her in those strong arms of his. And she had to admit, it felt really nice.

He set her down on an opulent green velvet canapé that looked as if it belonged in the sitting room of an old country estate instead of the ladies' room. But this hall had been hand picked by her for its opulence, so of course the bathroom had to match the rest of the place. Oliver then took a seat beside her, making no move to get any closer unless she reached out to him, something she appreciated.

Felicity needed a moment to compose herself. She wiped at her eyes with the crumpled up tissue before setting it down on her lap. A few more minutes of silence passed between them as she gathered her thoughts, taking several deep breaths in the process to calm her frazzled emotions.

"It's been five years since I last saw William," she began, sniffling as she raised the tissue to wipe her nose. Her eyes remained in her lap, unable to look at Oliver as she told her story because of all the emotions she knew would reflect back to her. They flicked up to him momentarily, gauging his reaction, but he was stoic, focused and simply listening without passing judgment.

"We met freshman year in our first programming class. He was very charming and damn him for having that polished British accent. It was like having a younger version of Jude Law talking to you. Didn't hurt that he looked a little like him too. Anyway, I've always been a sucker for accents and it was probably the reason I was attracted to him so fast," Felicity said with a mirthless chuckle.

She gazed up at Oliver for a moment. He was sitting beside her, completely relaxed in his stance even though she could see the tense set of his shoulders as one arm draped along the back of the canapé while the other remained at his side, his hand resting on his leg. She knew he wanted to ball his fingers into a fist but was making an effort to restrain himself for her sake. And she appreciated it. The last thing she wanted was for him to get his inner Hood on and do something rash when it wasn't warranted.

Felicity continued on with her story a moment later after catching a breath. "We didn't talk much for the first half of the semester. It wasn't until after Thanksgiving break, when I came to class wearing a hospital bracelet that I forgot to take off because I'd spent the entire night there trying not to puke my brains out, that we got to talking. He noticed it around my wrist and asked me what had happened, so like the true babbler I am, I told him everything, which I realize now was completely stupid and too much information. But, anyway, it was the ice breaker I needed."

Felicity paused, gathering a deep breath into her lungs before she went on. The next part hurt like hell to speak of, but she was going to tell Oliver everything, even if it meant shedding several more tears in the process. "We became good friends from that point on, studying together, chilling before and after class, talking about everything. I didn't realize until much later that I was falling for him, but the signs were there. I think William knew before I did, and that's why things fell apart," she explained with just a hint of sadness in her voice.

When she felt Oliver's hand slip into hers, Felicity glanced up to find a soft encouraging smile on his face. She grinned back weakly, taking in a shaky breath before telling the rest of her story. It was nice to have someone there to listen for once. She had bottled this up for so long, refusing to speak about it with friends or family because she knew they would just judge her.

But with Oliver, it was different. He wasn't there to judge her, only to make sure she was okay. It gave her the strength to push through the suppressed emotions that were only now making their to the surface, and it felt good to let them go after having held onto them for so long.

"We spent half the summer living it up in Cambridge, going to bars, hanging out with our friends, having a great time. I know I shouldn't regret those moments because at one time they made me smile, but the fact that the following year everything just kinda fell apart taints it." Felicity sighed, the tissue coming up to her face again as she tried to wipe away the tears that welled in her eyes before the spilled down her cheeks.

Just thinking about that summer brought back so many feelings she hadn't allowed herself to experience. The emotions suddenly overwhelmed her and she sucked in a deep shuddering, breath, two tears sliding down her cheeks as she furiously worked to wipe them away. "I'm sorry," Felicity mumbled, her eyes flicking towards Oliver for just a moment before they settled back in her lap.

"It's okay. Take your time," he softly replied, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. Gazing up at him, she saw the sincerity in his eyes and her heart melted. Only Oliver Queen could make her feel like that. It was a testament to how deep their friendship really was. His hand lingered over hers for a moment before Felicity turned up her palm and laced their fingers together. Him sitting there with her, holding her hand, it was the strength and comfort she needed to continue.

"That summer was one of the best summers of my life," she said with a sad smile, her eyes settling on Oliver's. His focus was solely on her, kind and understanding as he listened with rapt attention. "We spent a lot of time laughing and enjoying each other's company. We did a lot of things, with each other and with our friends, like watching hockey at the bar and having water balloon fights and going to the movies. It was a lot of fun and I wouldn't change it for the world, but I just wish…" Felicity sighed and paused again, more tears spilling down her cheeks. "I just wish I realized what was happening before everything fell apart."

The tissue in her hand had become a crumpled mess. Oliver was up and moving before she could even ask for another one. He took the old one and threw it in the trash before wordlessly passing her a new one. "Thank you," Felicity whispered, dabbing the soft edges beneath her sore and puffy eyes. "I look like a hot mess, don't I?"

Oliver simply smiled. His hand came up, fingers brushing across her cheeks as he replied, "You look beautiful."

"I know you're just saying that to make me feel better," she quipped, a half smile appearing on her lips. But she did enjoy the tenderness of his touch. The urge to lean in and feel his palm rest against her face was overwhelming, but he pulled away before she allowed herself to do it.

Taking a deep breath, Felicity continued with her story. "William left for London in July to go home for a month and I was alone again. I know I mentioned I had other friends, but they weren't really my friends, they were mostly his friends. It felt wrong to hang out with them while he was gone, so I ended up taking on more hours where I worked at a computer store repairing whatever happened to come in. I think that was around the time I realized I had feelings for him, but I didn't want to act on them because I didn't want to make things awkward between us. So I kept them to myself and just spent my nights chatting with him via Facebook.

"When August rolled around and he came back, we picked up where we left off, but he seemed kind of distant. I should have seen it then, but I didn't. I was still so wrapped up in my little fantasy world that I wasn't paying attention to reality. We registered for the same classes at the same times so we could be study buddies again, which I was perfectly fine with because I loved sharing my knowledge with everyone. I just… I should have known better…"

Felicity knew she was letting her regret shine through at that moment. But she couldn't help herself. Her heart ached. This was the part of the story she hated most. Aside from Oliver, she'd never really told anyone else. Bits and pieces of it, yes, but the whole thing? It felt like ripping a bandage off her skin, but the more she talked about it, the better she started to feel. A heavy weight was lifting from her shoulders, slowly easing the pain in her heart to more manageable levels. She could only hope that by telling this last bit, some small part of her guilt would float away and she could breathe again.

Steeling herself from the emotions she knew would end up taking her over, Felicity pursed her lips and began to speak. "The fall semester started innocently enough. William and I sat beside each other in the computer lab, working diligently as our professor gave us instructions. When the assignments got harder, I found him constantly glancing at my screen while I worked. That should have been the first warning, but I just thought he'd missed something, so I would lean back a little and let him copy what I was working on.

"It wasn't until midterms came around and we were supposed to start working on our own programs that William came up to me and 'asked' for help. He was so polite about it too, and it was hard not to give in. He plied me with coffee every night to give him a hand, so I did.

"I think I got about halfway through his project when I realized he actually expected me to finish it for him. I had been completely neglecting my own project up until that point, so I politely told him that I needed to work on my stuff, and he just got so angry with me and started to make it seem like his inability to finish his project was my fault. Being so naive, I initially believed him. So I did what I could to give him more help, all the while, my project sat there, unfinished."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but Felicity didn't bother wiping them away because she knew more were coming. She hadn't even reached the worst part of her story yet. But with Oliver's hand firmly gripping hers for support, she pushed on, telling him everything.

"Thanksgiving rolled around and I suddenly found myself so far behind I thought I was going to have to drop the class and make it up the following semester if I didn't start working on it. I set William's aside during break and finally got to work on my program. For three days straight I didn't leave my dorm room unless it was to pay the pizza delivery guy or go to the bathroom. I don't even think I changed out of my clothes…" Felicity stopped then and squeezed her eyes shut. Pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers, she said, "Ugh, sorry, TMI! Shit, I need to stop that."

Beside her, Oliver chuckled and pulled her hand into his lap as she gazed down at their intertwined fingers. For a moment, she got lost in his touch, the calloused pad of his thumb brushing over her knuckles and sending butterflies fluttering in her stomach before she reminded herself what she was about to tell him. They were squelched immediately as she took a deep breath to center herself.

Felicity was coming to the part of her story that made it seem like her heart was being ripped from her chest. Feeling Oliver squeeze her fingers in support, she gazed up at him with a watery smile. She decided to just push through this last part, hoping once it was finally out in the open, she would feel better. "Anyway," she breathed, "After Thanksgiving break, there were about three more weeks of the semester left. It was the final big push and I was chugging along, getting things done, but William… He would not stop bugging me to help him. I was getting so sick and tired of his whining that I stopped taking his calls.

"When we saw each other in class, he would purposefully move his chair as far away from mine as possible. A few times I overheard him talking to another one of his friends about how I was a stuck up bitch because I wouldn't help him with his assignments. And it hurt. It hurt that he could say these things to other people about me when I tried so hard to help him only to realize that he was just using me to get ahead in his classes while he lived it up and partied.

"By some miracle I managed to finish my project on time and got an A for the course. William, on the other hand, pawned it off to another one of the few girls in class who absolutely hated my guts because she was obsessed with him. After that semester ended, I went home and the entire time I was just so depressed and unhappy. I couldn't believe I'd let someone manipulate me like that, all because I had a crush on him," Felicity sobbed into her tissue.

Oliver was pulling her to his lap again, cradling the back of her head as he pressed a soft kiss into her hair. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,," he whispered over and over as if trying to make up for what William had done to her.

"Why are you apologizing?" Felicity rasped, pulling away from his arms to look at him.

"Because at one time, I was William. I used people to try and get ahead all because I wanted to have fun…" Oliver sighed and let her go, allowing her to slide onto the couch beside him. He turned away, his gaze falling to a spot on the floor somewhere near his feet.

Felicity knew exactly where his mind had gone and was quick to switch gears from being the friend who needed comfort to being the friend who did the comforting. Her feelings for William were pushed to the back of her mind as she said, "But you're not that person anymore."

The softness of her voice and the way she lifted her hand to cup his cheek had him turning his gaze back on her, those sharp blue eyes full of regret and sadness she'd seen so many times before. It still pained her when Oliver gave her that look. Her heart went out to him. He'd been through so much in his short life, more than anyone could ever possibly imagine, yet he still felt the need to take on burdens that weren't meant for his shoulder.

"There are some days where I feel like I still am," he muttered, his eyes flicking away from hers until they settled on the hand she'd placed against his forearm.

"But you're not, Oliver," Felicity softly replied. "You're the kindest, most caring and honest person I know. You've made mistakes in your past, but you've acknowledged them and have done everything in your power to atone for them. That's what made you the amazing person you are today."

He huffed a breath, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment before he finally looked back at her. "I don't deserve you," Oliver whispered, "as an executive assistant or a friend or a partner."

"Yes, you do," she said, the conviction strong in her voice. "This was my choice.  _You_ were my choice. I don't regret any of it and neither should you. What we've been through in our lives, it shaped us into the people we are today. In those tough moments, we needed to make decisions on how to handle the situation. And I'm not even remotely trying to compare my life to yours, but we've all been there, and we've all learned from the choices we made. Some might have been harder than others, but we've made it through, and that's what matters."

Oliver's deep inhale and slow exhale told Felicity he was processing what she was trying to say to him. And to an extent, she realized it applied to her as well. It had been her choice to help William, and it had been her choice to continue helping him even after she saw the kind of person he was. She'd been naive back then, a sucker for a cute accent, but she'd learned an important lesson in trusting her instincts.

It wasn't until after she'd met Oliver that she realized she'd been trusting them all along ever since then. And with him, it had truly been instinct. From the moment he'd stepped into Felicity's office, there was something about him that drew her into his false charm and awful lies. She could see underneath that fake playboy exterior was a man with a heart so big he often left it hanging on his sleeve when he thought no one was looking. But she'd seen it, and that was why, even after all his awful cover stories, she still trusted him.

Looking back on it all now, Felicity knew she'd made the right decision to stick by his side. There were so few people Oliver trusted with his secret that being one of only two made her heart swell with pride. And unlike William, he never took advantage of the trust she had in him. If anything, he cherished it and did everything in his power to hold onto it as if it were his lifeblood. Now that was the hallmark of a true friend.

When his fingers wrapped around her hand, she automatically turned it so their palms touched and she laced her fingers between his. A smile crept onto both their faces as they stared at each other.

"You're an amazing friend, Oliver," she said. "Don't sell yourself short."

"And you shouldn't waste your tears on asshats like William Clarkson," he replied. Although Felicity knew he was deflecting, she let it slide. He was right. An asshat like William wasn't worth her tears.

"Thank you," Felicity whispered, leaning towards him to brush her lips against his cheek. Oliver's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest as he hugged her tight.

"You're welcome," he murmured into her ear before pressing a kiss to her temple. They pulled away a few moments later and went to stand up. "Are you hungry?" Oliver suddenly asked as he extended his hand to help her to her feet. Felicity gave him a curious look and he added, "It's just… you missed dinner tonight and I'm pretty sure that bagel you ate for lunch wasn't enough to keep you fed for the rest of the day."

A smile spread out across her face. Felicity hadn't realized just how hungry she was until that moment. Her stomach growled loudly and she giggled, "Well, there's your answer."

"Come on," Oliver said, wrapping his arm over hers and leading them out of the bathroom. "I know this great pizza place by our hotel that I'm pretty sure you'll love."

"Oh, god, yes, pizza sounds so good right about now," Felicity nearly moaned as he pushed open the door and led them into the empty hallway. Glancing down, she noticed the little yellow sign that proclaimed the bathroom was out of order and realized it was probably the reason they'd been left uninterrupted for so long.

Not far from the door stood Diggle, the relief present on his face when he saw the two of them finally stepping out of the bathroom. "I take it you didn't fall in," he quipped.

Laughter immediately exploded from her lungs. It felt good, like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders at that moment. Felicity's heart felt lighter now that she'd shared one of her most painful secrets with someone she trusted. Had she known that was all it would take to feel like this so long ago, she would have let it happen sooner. But she was glad that it was Oliver she chose to share this painful memory with. He might have not been so forthcoming with his own secrets regarding the island, but he'd been a great listener that evening.

"Come on, let's go get that pizza I promised," he said as they walked down the hall that led to the front door where their Town Car was already pulled up and waiting.

The rest of the night was spent in Oliver's room, watching movies and pigging out on deep dish pizza while raiding the mini bar. It was a respite from her crazy day, and even though Felicity knew the next couple of days would be just as insane, she took pleasure in the fact that she had two wonderful people to keep her grounded even if things fell apart.

Somewhere around midnight, she returned to her own suite, exhausted but happy for the first time since William had waltz back into her life. Grabbing her laptop out of her bag, she logged into the device and began to surf the net as her final form of relaxation for the night. With one last look at the schedule for the next morning, an idea struck her the moment she saw William's name under the presentations list.

A wicked grin turned up the corners of Felicity's lips as she pulled up the server where all the presentations had been stored the day before when people had first started arriving to the venue to register and drop off their things. Finding the Wayne Industries presentation on William's newest project, she quickly set to work, encrypting it with what should have been simple for him to hack, if he was as smart as he claimed to be. And if he had been, she added one more little thing to his Powerpoint that was sure to make people laugh and embarrass the hell out of him. She'd just have to wait until tomorrow to see if he'd actually learned anything at MIT or if he'd pawned his way through it as she suspected.

The next morning was an early start, and Felicity was eager to get to the convention center. Oliver had noticed her initial fidgeting, but after she'd reassured him she was perfectly fine and gave him a beaming, genuine smile to prove it, he'd left her alone to do her thing. Rushing around from one room to the next, she got all the equipment for the various presentations set up with the staff she'd hand picked from the QC IT department.

William's presentation had been touted as one of the most anticipated of the conference. It was also the first one up that morning. Felicity eagerly entered the room, remaining in the back to get a full view of the hilarity that was about to ensue. Crossing her arms over her chest, she patiently waited as the tech crew set everything up before William took over.

He encountered his first issue when he tried to open the file. A video immediately popped up playing the scene from Jurassic Park with the annoying "Ah, ah, ah! You didn't say the magic word!" It played on repeat as William stood there in front of the crowd turning a particularly entertaining shade of red. Felicity pursed her lips to keep from laughing, but soon one of his minions stepped up to the platform to get rid of the annoying video once and for all.

The two exchanged a few heated words before William finally pulled up his presentation and began to speak. Less than a minute in, a blaring horn sounded, scaring half the people in the audience and nearly making him jump as he strode in front of the screen to point something out. After a moment of glancing around the room trying to figure out where the sound came from, he resumed with the presentation.

Two minutes later, a loud, annoying buzz began to vibrate through the speakers. People began talking softly amongst themselves, trying to figure out what was going on while Felicity remained hidden in the back, the grin on her face so wide it actually hurt. Having set up a simple program on the computer that would play random sounds at random intervals was making her giddy with excitement. It was the simplest of pranks, but one of the hardest to find if you didn't know what you were looking for.

William paused his presentation and headed back to the computer to see what was going on. He stopped and restarted it, hoping the strange and annoying noises stopped once and for all. A few minutes in and he thought he was safe. But Felicity knew what was coming next. She'd programmed the sounds herself, lulling her former friend into a false sense of security before the real fun began.

After about ten minutes, the next sound blasted through the speakers. It was a mooing cow that had the audience laughing in hushed tones as William began to turn a brighter shade of red. This time he'd actually cursed under his breath, the speakers amplifying his muttered "shit" and the audience laughed even harder. He was a real trooper, though, and continued on with his presentation trying to get past the embarrassment in true British fashion.

But the final sound Felicity had programmed into his file would make all the others pale in comparison. As she glanced down at her cell phone to check the time, she felt a hand brush over her shoulder and looked up to find Oliver standing beside her trying to hide the amusement on his face with one of his stoic masks, but failing miserably.

"Is this  _your_ doing?" he leaned in close and whispered into her ear.

"Maybe," Felicity coyly replied, giving him a sheepish smile. Oliver returned it with a stunning grin of his own before he moved to walk out of the hall, but she grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks. "You might wanna stay a few more minutes. You haven't heard the grand finale yet." He cocked his head to the side, curious, and came to stand beside her.

Barely a minute later, the final embarrassing sound blasted through the speakers just as William was bending over to grab the light pointer he'd dropped at his feet. It was a long, drawn out fart that had the entire audience bursting into fits of laughter, Felicity and Oliver included.

"And I thought the pranks I pulled in college were childish!" Oliver chuckled as he leaned against the wall trying to catch his breath. He was glancing over her shoulder watching William as he stood in front of the audience turning the brightest shade of red she'd ever seen on a person. "High five, Smoak! That is going down in history," Oliver added, holding up his hand and she gave it a good slap as William glared at them before they left the room, fits of laughter still escaping their lungs as they walked out.

"Nothing like a little revenge to make you feel better. Am I right?" Felicity replied.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side," Oliver said with one final chuckle as he wrapped an arm around her waist and led her into the next room.

**Author's Note:**

> Unlike Felicity, I didn't get any revenge after I ran into this guy. But at least I got closure, which was what I really needed after spending three years trying to forget this asshole. The morning after, I woke up feeling lighter than air, and it was the greatest feeling in the world.
> 
> Okay, so maybe I did get a little revenge... When I saw him, I had lost over 30lbs and he looked as if he'd gained 50. Nothing like rocking a pair of sexy jeans and a tight shirt, right ladies?


End file.
